Saturday 14 January 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Aunt no longer giddy


Aunt no longer giddy

It has been revealed that, due to medical advancements, the well-known giddy aunt is no longer giddy, leading to consternation amongst users of the popular idiom.

“While I wish the formerly giddy aunt well,” said Simon Williams, Professor of polite exclamations at Fulchester University.

“It does pose a problem for anyone who enjoys the gentler cry of shock and surprise.

“I mean, the sort of person who would once have exclaimed ‘Oh my giddy aunt,’ on stubbing their toe is unlikely to be happy to replace the phrase with ‘oh f**k my life,’ ‘sh*t on a bastard,’ or ‘c**t it’ or similar.”

There have been calls for the giddy aunt to be replaced with a giddy uncle, or even a giddy second-cousin.

“It would certainly be helpful,” continued Professor Williams.

“I mean, ‘oh my giddy uncle,’ certainly has a pleasant ring to it, doesn’t it? However, I suppose that the same medical advancements that cured the giddy aunt would likely soon come into play.”

Suggestions that the giddy aunt could be replaced by a giddy animal of some sort have been immediately quashed.

“Yes, it’s a shame. ‘Oh my giddy horse,’ for example, is incredibly pleasing to exclaim. But there are issues of animal welfare here that we certainly wouldn’t be comfortable ignoring.”

The Government, perhaps missing the point a little, are advising all users of the phrase ‘Oh my giddy aunt,’ to simply avoid stubbing their toes.

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