Friday 13 January 2017 by Lucas Wilde

America set to enjoy final fuckery-free, Trumpless weekend


Americans enjoy final trump-free weekend

America is gearing up to enjoy the last unfucked weekend they’re going to have for the foreseeable future.

With Donald Trump to be sworn in as President on January 20th (which is a ridiculous thing to have to type), it’s thought that chaos will consume the nation almost immediately.

“We’re going to spend the weekend doing nice things and holding our children close,” said citizen and liberal snowflake, Chuck Williams.

“We’ll take a nice picnic to the local park before the park is bulldozed to make way for Muslim internment camps and picnics are outlawed because they’re a bit gay or something.

“We’ll take the children to go and see a film at the cinema before films are banned because they’re full of liberal types like Meryl Streep.

“Then, in the evening, put our kids to bed and lie to them by saying everything is going to be fine before checking to see how our application for Canadain citizenship is progressing.

“It will be a lovely weekend. The last, lovely, weekend.”

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