Thursday 12 January 2017 by Davywavy

Monster Munch actually shaped like the head of Cthulhu, confirm Walkers


Cthulu monster munch

Walkers crisps have ended speculation on what Monster Munch are supposed to be shaped like by confirming they’re actually the head of their demonic master Cthulhu.

Online speculation had suggested they were a hand with claws, or possibly a monster standing upright and walking, but spokesman Simon Whateley took to Twitter to reveal the horrible truth.

“We got the recipe from an ancient book of unholy tasty snacks called the Necronomnomnomicon,” he said, thereby ending both speculation and human civilisation.

“And the idea of making them Pickled Onion flavour was brought to us in a dream about a terrible, lidless eye that burned with malignant hatred.

“The snacks are right,” he added.

Walkers went on to confirm that the crunch of Monster Munch are carefully tuned to make a faint ‘Fhtagn’ noise when bitten, and it is their hope that this will awaken their Dread Lord to bring an eternity of misery upon despairing humanity.

“It’s going pretty well so far,” Whately confirmed.

“People eating record numbers of Wotsits and Cheetos has already brought forth Donald Trump.

“Oh, and frazzles? Deep-fried slices of Shoggoth. Sorry about that, but they are really moreish you must admit.”

When asked about Prawn Cocktail crisps, the spokesman looked shifty and denied they made any such flavour.

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