A man who uses the comments threads of Internet jokes to correct factual errors still hopes one day to know the touch of a woman, according to people who know him.
Friends of Simon Williams, 41, find it incredible that a man with his pedantic command of trivia and obsessive need to correct people he’s never met and never will, has thus far have failed to find a life partner.
Facebook was described as a ‘Godsend’ for Williams, whose friends used it to chat up women they were at school with and never had the nerve to try with at the time – while he uses it to post comments beginning “Actually, I think you’ll find…” in the bottom half of the Internet.
“Look, I know these stories are made up. It even says they’re not real at the top of the page,” he told us.
“But I don’t think that’s a good reason not to take a few minutes out of my day to point out some glaring inaccuracies in the writing.
“I’m often told by women that they find that sort of behaviour sexually exciting at a deep, primal level, and then I get off with them, sometimes two or three at a time.
“Tits, fanny, the lot,” he added for clarification.
However, his claims of girls fancying him have been roundly debunked by Snopes.com and filed under ‘fake news’.