Monday 9 January 2017 by Lucas Wilde

Chris Brown to try punching a MAN in the face for a change


Chris Brown boxing

Woman beater and occasional musician, Chris Brown, is going to see how he fares in a fight with another man.

The “musician” holds a 1-0 record against Rhianna and is hoping to repeat his success against a gentleman by the name of “Soulja Boy” in order to settle what definitely isn’t an argument worthy of a pair of nine-year-olds.

“Chris is excited but mostly nervous, just like most of his dates,” confirmed the singer’s agent, Simon Williams.

“He’s more used to battering females that are roughly half his weight, so it will be interesting to see how he fares against a man who is roughly his size and is fully aware that the punches are coming.

“He’s been after a suitable trainer who knows how to bring out the best in him and can speak his language, so we’ve been lucky enough to land the services of convicted rapist, Mike Tyson.”

Boxing expert, Jay Cooper, said, “this fight is unique in that everyone wants both sides to lose.

“Both pugilists are generally mouthy wankers who could probably do with a punch in the face, but then my wife’s a big fan of Rhianna so I will be in Soulja Boy’s corner. Just.”

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