In an attempt to stop him endlessly whining on and on about being given a job, the government has appointed Nigel Farage as the UK’s ambassador to Fantasy Island.
Downing Street believe that Mr Farage is ideal for the job because much like his suitability for an ambassadorial role, the island doesn’t exist.
“Fantasy Island is a fictional island located somewhere in the Pacific Ocean,” explained a government spokesperson.
“Nigel Farage’s belief that he is suitable to represent the UK in any official capacity is a fictional belief located somewhere in his own mind.”
Mr Farage expressed his satisfaction at being handed the non-existent role.
“I am delighted that the government have seen sense and given me the opportunity to live out my lifelong fantasy of being an ambassador,” he tweeted.
Fantasy Island overseer Mr Roarke and his sidekick Tattoo welcomed the appointment and promised Mr Farage that once his fantasy began it would be played out to its conclusion.
“We are looking forward to welcoming Mr Farage,” explained Mr Roarke.
“Hopefully when Tattoo shouts, ‘The plane! The plane!’ he won’t suffer any unpleasant flashbacks.”