Hull has been named 2017 city of Culture and they’ve not twigged yet, according to reports.
Hull, which is twinned with the Black Plain before the gates of Mordor, has applied to be City of Culture every year and was finally awarded the honour after all the other cities had had at least two goes each.
The ceremony granting the title was held at the City Hall this morning and broadcast on local radio station Viking FM with a ten-second delay so all the farting could be cut out.
Dignitaries are then expected to attend a celebratory knees-up at Spiders on Cleveland Street, which will be selling Green Goblins at half price to mark the occasion.
Accepting the title on behalf of the city, former Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott said “I know dead lots about Culture, me”, and proceeded to tell several jokes about his mother-in-law before introducing a modern interpretive dance recital by Hull Kingston Rovers.
Visitors to the City of Culture are encouraged to seek out artistic gems in the city, including the legendary ‘Sharon is a slag’ inscribed on the side of the Lord Line builds no at the docks, before moving to view ‘Dead Bod’ a little further on.
The award has been met with jealousy by Hull’s rivals including Hartlepool and the Isle of Sheppey, both of which have long felt they were Hull’s equals when it comes to culture and style.