Friday 23 December 2016

Man who is easily provoked into retaliation by a Tweet desperate to control more nuclear weapons


Trump has the best nukes

Donald Trump has insisted the only way to keep the world safe from nuclear weapons is to ensure the man with the most nuclear weapons is one who lashes out publicly whenever anyone is mean to him.

Trump has called for more nuclear weapons in the US in a move government officials have described as “not even remotely concerning, please don’t worry yourselves, it will all be ok, definitely”.

President-elect Trump told reporters, “I like nukes, I’ll have the best nukes, the best. Great nukes. When people think about great nukes they’ll be thinking about Trump nukes.”

Trump voter Chuck Williams, “I like Trump, I like the way he smacks down anyone who thinks they can mock him – do you think anyone is going to mock the USA when they think they’ll get a nuke shoved up their ass? Hell no.

“The whole world will bow down to mighty Trump because we won and you lost, so stop crying your snowflake Liberal tears before The Donald nukes them right off your face.”

Global affairs consultant Simon Williams – no relation – explained, “A nuclear deterrent only works if it’s used as a deterrent – if you’re genuinely worried about the temperament of the man with his finger on the button, wouldn’t you be more likely to consider maybe getting your strike in there first?

“Thankfully Donald Trump has proven himself time and again since entering politics that he is rational and predictable, so nothing to worry about there.

“Oh.”

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