Thursday 22 December 2016 by Adam Bevan

God reveals top prayers of 2016


God reveals top prayers of 2016

Our Father, who art in Heaven, has said that the most popular prayer in 2016 was “Please can you stop Donald Trump?” in an exclusive interview with the Pope.

The great lord said that it narrowly pipped “Please stop taking our favourite celebrities!” to the post and mentioned that 2016 has been the busiest year of prayer for decades.

God explained, “It seems you people are increasingly desperate for someone to help you make sense of the ever-deteriorating shitty world around you. Well sorry, it’s like that because Eve ate the apple – so tough.

The complete top ten prayers were revealed to be:                                                                     

  1. Please can you stop Donald Trump?
  2. Please stop taking our favourite celebrities, how about taking some from the C-List?
  3. Is Harambe OK?
  4. Did you rig the election?
  5. Send nude
  6. Tied – Please can you stop Brexit
  7. Tied – Please can you just trigger Brexit
  8. Send me a sign and/or the lottery numbers
  9. Give us back David Bowie, take Bieber instead
  10. Please don’t let there be another Fast & Furious film
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