Friday 16 December 2016

Secret Santa gift some sort of homemade shit


Homemade secret Santa gift

Someone in the office has been giving homemade crap as their Secret Santa gift, according to sources this morning.

Shortly after the presents were distributed, accounts clerk Simon Williams unwrapped his gift to discover it was a knitted cover for a hot water bottle

Williams told us, “It’s not hard. Up to £10 was the rule, but this isn’t worth £10. I’d rather have had a bloody iTunes voucher.

“It’s pretty easy, you go into a shop, and buy something around a tenner for the person you picked out of the hat – you don’t use it as an excuse to get creative with a needle and fucking thread.

“Do I look like the sort of person who uses a fucking hot water bottle? It’s got fucking pink bobbles on it. Jesus fucking Christ almighty.”

Support desk worker Derek Matthews told us, “Yes, I got him the hot water bottle cover.

“I didn’t make it, it’s not homemade. The truth is, I completely forgot about Secret Santa, so I bought it in the charity shop on the way to work for 49p. It’s not even new.”

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