Thursday 15 December 2016 by Davywavy

Nickelback fail to set off airport metal detector


Nickelback not metal

Airport security has failed to detect anything metal whatsoever about Nickelback today.

The band, who are preparing to go on tour next year, passed through metal detectors at Vancouver airport several times in a desperate attempt to make them sound some sort of alarm, or at least acknowledge they were even there.

“It was really weird,” airport security guard Simoon Williams told us.

“We asked them if they’d mind walking through the metal detector and they all grinned and nudged each other in a ‘hey boys, here we go’ sort of way.

“When the machine failed to register their existence in any way whatsoever, they demanded to go through again and again before insisting it must be broken.

“The weird thing is that Chad Kroeger was wearing a solid steel belt buckle, but he seems to exude such a strong anti-metal aura that it actually cancelled it out.”

Eventually, the band were given an Iron Maiden album to hold whilst walking through security just to prove the machine was working, at which point it went bang and smoke came out.

Meanwhile, a geologist passing through the airport at the time said he failed to notice anything rock about the group either, despite sharing the departure lounge with them for several hours.

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