Thursday 15 December 2016 by Davywavy

Man eats sprout


Man eats sprout

The nation is in shock this morning after a man voluntarily ate a Brussels sprout.

The unpleasantly mushy boiled vegetable is a staple of Christmas dinner tables, but nobody is ever known to have eaten one willingly as they taste like rotting soap.

However, this changed yesterday as Macclesfield resident Simon Williams not only ate one without prompting but then asked for another.

Investigations into the event revealed he did not eat it as a bet, nor a joke, leaving experts baffled.

“The Brussels Sprout is commonly recognised as utterly inedible; like one of those white dog poos you got in the seventies, or a Ginsters sausage roll,” said a spokesman from the Department of Sproutology at Cambridge University.

“I mean, yeah, you know they exist but it’s broadly accepted you’d have to be mentally ill to put one in your mouth.

“Right now we’ve no idea why this man ate one, but we’re assuming he’s red/green colour blind and thought it was a raspberry or something.”

When asked, Mr Williams said he thought the sprout was ‘tasty’, and planned to eat more or possibly experiment further by consuming some beetroot.

His family are in counselling.

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