Wednesday 14 December 2016 by Neil Tollfree

Pret to open new branch in your lounge


Pret to open in the lounge

Sandwich chain Pret has announced plans to open a new branch behind the sofa in your front room.

“This is great news for everyone who sits on your sofa, or just passes the lounge to pop to the loo under the stairs,” said a spokesperson for the sandwich giants.

“We’ll have our terrific range of sandwiches and coffee available to literally everyone in your house throughout the day.”

The new branch could create up to ten jobs, and provide some much needed part-time work for your teenage son who spends far too much time on the Internet.

It is expected that it will take several months to clear out behind the sofa, and repurpose the space for selling sandwiches. You may also have to get used to overly perky Europeans taking smoke breaks on your patio.

However, these small sacrifices will be worth it to save you having to walk to the bottom of your garden path to the current nearest branch of Pret.

There has been some criticism about the location of the new branch, with your daughter, in particular, claiming that the lounge is ‘miles away’ and can she have a lift, please.

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that,” said the Pret spokesperson.

“We’ll probably open another branch on your upstairs landing by the end of next year.”

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