Wednesday 14 December 2016 by Davywavy

Jeremy Corbyn goes into hibernation


Jeremy Corbyn hibernation

Jeremy Corbyn has been put in a cardboard box packed with straw to sleep until spring.

Corbyn has been blinking sleepily and moving even more slowly than usual recently, and keepers decided it was time to pop him in the shed next to his slipper collection and jam making equipment until the days warm up a bit.

Children’s programme Blue Peter filmed the process, which will be broadcast later this week to help viewers know how to keep their leader of the opposition safe and warm during the winter months.

“Jeremy isn’t a young leader anymore, so it’s important to take even more care over him when the weather turns cold,” said Blue Peter presenter Simon Williams as he added a layer of newspaper to the outside of the box.

“He crawled into the box so slowly, while chewing on a piece of broccoli in a distracted, distant way and talking about privatising the railways.  It was quite sweet.

“We’ll take him out come the spring when he’ll have had a good three or four months sleep, and he’ll be full of vim and ready to take the fight to the Tories again.

“Assuming the rats haven’t got to him in the shed, that is.”

Members of the Government Cabinet are currently understood to be having an internal debate over whether to tell the Labour Party they haven’t put any air holes in the box.

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