Friday 9 December 2016

Labour blames Sleaford result on voters caring about the wrong things


Labour fourth in Sleaford

Labour has insisted a disappointing result in the Sleaford by-election was caused by voters caring about the wrong things.

After slipping to fourth place from second place since the 2015 general election, Labour officials said voters who insisted on caring about things other than those which they campaigned on were to blame.

A spokesperson for the party explained, “We came to Sleaford with a strong message about the things we think people should be caring about, rather than the things people have repeatedly told us they actually care about – we thought it would be a winning tactic, but it’s clearly the fault of the electorate that they didn’t agree.

“Everyone knows it’s the job of the Labour party to tell people what they should care about, not to listen to voters and perhaps address concerns about things they seem to actually care about.

“But on the bright side at least we didn’t finish fifth, and we didn’t lose our deposit this time. Which is progress, for today’s Labour party, anyway.”

Voter Simon Williams said he’d had a couple of Labour campaigners stop him on the street to try and tell him what was important in this by-election.

“There’s nothing I love more than being told what I should be caring about, it also certainly helped being told that Labour doesn’t really have a Brexit policy – I mean, it’s not like it’s going to be important during this MPs term, is it?

“But just keep telling us what you think is important, after all, a place on the podium isn’t that important in politics anyway. It’s the taking part that counts.”

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