Thursday 8 December 2016 by Neil Tollfree

UKIP to release Paul Nuttall scented candle


Paul Nuttall candle

Inspired by Kentucky Fried Chicken’s fried chicken scented candle, UKIP is releasing a limited edition Paul Nuttall scented candle in time for Christmas.

“For UKIP supporters, the modern world full of liberal elites and so-called experts can be a stressful and frightening place,” reads the promotional material.

“So lie back on the sofa, light a UKIP candle, and let the soothing aromas of Paul Nuttall fill your home.”

The actual scent of the candle is a combination of sweat, halitosis, and blazing hatred.

“We’ve had an awful lot of people come up to us at our conference saying they enjoyed the smell of the new leader and was there anything they could get for their home,” explained Simon Williams, a dinosaur porn enthusiast and UKIP spokesperson.

“So, we’ve had these candles made and if they prove popular – and why wouldn’t they – then we plan on releasing a whole range of Paul Nuttall scented products; air freshener, shampoo, eau de toilette.

“You could literally have everything and everyone in your home smell of Paul Nuttall.”

There were no plans, however, for scented products based on other UKIP members.

“No, we were going to make a Nigel Farage scented candle as well,” continued Mr Williams.

“But he quit, so f**k him.”

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