Thursday 1 December 2016

Sugar-free healthy advent calendars remain unopened

Healthy advent calendar awful

Alternative advent calendars full of healthy ‘treats’ given to staff at a local firm remain ominously unopened this morning, according to sources close to the matter.

With the first of December usually signifying a race to the first chocolate amongst the various onsite teams, this year’s healthy advent calendar has been met with ambivalence by all staff.

General Manager Simon Williams told us, “We wanted to shake it up a bit and so gave everyone an alternative advent calendar for their desks. It’s got things like nuts and seeds in there. And something made with dirt, I think. No chocolate, thought, obviously.

“HR said we have to do something to tick some government boxes on encouraging healthy lifestyles for our employees, and apparently this is the same as offering them all a gym membership, but an awful lot cheaper.”

One member of the IT support team told us, “I opened it, I don’t know what it was, it was brown-ish and tasted like cold mushy peas. No, I’m really not looking forward to tomorrow.

However, Shiela in accounts said, “I don’t care, I opened them all already and replaced the ‘treats’ with my favourite Quality Street. Happy Christmas!”

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