Thursday 1 December 2016 by Davywavy

Buzz Aldrin evacuated from South Pole after battling Shoggoths beneath the ice


Buzz Aldrin

86-year-old Buzz Aldrin has been evacuated from the South Pole after engaging in fisticuffs with Shoggoths in an ancient city beneath the ice, we can report.

Aldrin, who is understood to have discovered the city after following strange carvings he found on the moon, is said to have punched out four terrible, gelatinous horrors who suggested to him the Apollo Missions were faked.

He was then evacuated for the Elder Things’ own protection.

Aldrin is understood to have little time for degenerate, mindlessly warbling creatures such as one finds at the centre of the universe or on Internet comments threads saying “Omg its a HOAX wake up sheeple.”

“The terrifying, squamous, blasphemous horrors from beyond time had been entombed in the city, which as it turned out was their parent’s basement,” we were told.

“From whence they would usher forth upon humanity an age of misery undreamed, infesting the Earth with videos titled ‘Tekeli-li Tekeli-li moon landings faked – PROOF!!1’.

“Truly, these mindless entities exist only to bring humanity low, and usher their howling madness upon all life.”

Aldrin has led an exciting life; being the second man on the moon was only a part of it. Everyone here wishes him the best, and hopes he gets well soon for more adventures.

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