Tuesday 29 November 2016 by Neil Tollfree

Paul Nuttall elected UKIP leader for next ten days or so


Paul Nuttall UKIP leader

UKIP have announced that their next leader will be Paul Nuttall. For a bit, anyway.

The former Deputy Leader will serve as UKIP leader until he gets a bit bored with it or is duffed up in a car park.

“I’m honoured that you have put your trust in me,” said Mr Nuttall as he made his acceptance speech.

“I look forward to leading this great party until the middle of next week, probably Thursday afternoon.”

It is expected that Mr Nuttall will divide his time as leader between saying offensive things about minorities and claiming expenses, before having a huge falling out with party members over the colour of chocolates in the UKIP advent calendar and stropping off in a big racist huff.

Party members declared themselves pleased.

“Tremendous news,” said Simon Williams, UKIP member and serial sniffer of ladies’ bicycle seats.

“Paul is exactly the type of man we need to lead us for a bit, and I look forward to a good, solid week and a half or so of stable leadership.”

It is understood that plans are already afoot for the leadership election to replace Mr Nuttall and the party hopes to have someone in place to cover Christmas and New Year before having their first leadership election of 2017 sometime in early January.

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