Tuesday 29 November 2016 by Neil Tollfree

Brexit notes photograph reveals Government plans to ‘hope for the best’


Brexit notes leaked

A snatched photograph of a Government aide’s notes on Brexit negotiations has revealed a key tenet of the strategy will be to ‘hope for the best’.

The handwritten notes, carried by an aide to Mark Field MP included the phrases ‘it’ll probably sort itself out,’ ‘remember to set Skyplus for Corrie,’ and ‘bomb France’.

The Government has sought to distance itself from the notes with a spokesperson saying that it had ‘never heard of this Mark Field bloke, and the notes are probably just photographic trickery created using technology’.

Captured on long lens camera, the notes are the first real insight into the Government’s Brexit plans which have so far been shrouded in secrecy.

They reveal difficulties with the implementation of Article 50 – ‘Article 50 is really long and boring, can we just claim to have read it? Tell everyone that it says to be really nice to Britain?’

The notes also reveal plans to ingratiate the British negotiating team with the EU’s – ‘bring those nice pots of chocolatey mini rolls from M&S’.

A more controversial negotiating technique was also shown – ‘Get them all drunk?’

Supporters of Brexit have seized on the notes as proof that the Government’s plans to leave the EU are definitely not in complete disarray.

“Hope for the best?” said UKIP supporter and convicted ladies’ underwear thief Simon Williams.

“With concrete plans like that, there’s literally no way that Brexit can fail.”

Brexit means Clusterf*ck – get the t-shirt

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