Friday 25 November 2016 by Lucas Wilde

Theresa May picks up Brexit strategy in Black Friday sale


Theresa May Brexit Strategy

The Prime Minister has finally got lucky (not in that way).

Theresa May was elbowing her way through the scum in Tesco when she happened upon a Brexit strategy for just £9 all-in (reduced from weekly payments of £350m).

The book, entitled “Brexit: Beyond What the Bus Said” has been described as a must-buy for anyone seeking to disentangle themselves from the EU octopus.

“Fucking get in,” beamed the Prime Minister.

“It was a close-run thing. Gove had his eye on it too, but a swift palm strike upward to the jaw sorted him out and improved his shitting face at the same time.

“This is it. This is the purchase that will definitely make my life better, and Britain’s life better, but more importantly mine.”

Retail assistant, Jay Cooper, said, “she’s welcome to it.”

“We’ve had them in for ages but couldn’t shift them. That’s why they’re marked down by the same percentage as those Blaupunkt tellies.

“Even the local Brexit voters didn’t want a copy. It’s like they didn’t know what they would do with it.”

Brexit means Clusterf*ck – get the t-shirt!

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