Monday 21 November 2016 by Tom Moore

Man who hasn’t been clubbing in 9 years celebrating victory as Fabric nightclub to reopen


Fabric to reopen

A man who has not been on a night out since 2007 is said to be delighted by the decision of Islington Council to grant a new licence to London nightclub, Fabric.

Simon Williams, who doesn’t even go to the pub with his friends anymore and is only ever seen at social occasions orchestrated by his wife, revealed his feelings on Facebook.

Simon posted, “So delighted to see Fabric is going to reopen. I spent many a top night there in my party days.

“People like me can find so much creativity and inspiration in places like Fabric, so I couldn’t be happier the council is changing its mind.”

A Friend of Simon’s who still has a social life and actually goes out clubbing on a semi-regular basis said “Yeah, Simon’s full of shit. He’s never been to Fabric in his life.

“He told me he tried to get in once in 2001 but was turned away because he was on a stag do dressed as a Smurf. Back in his so-called ‘party days’, he spent most of his time throwing up in various All Bar Ones.

“You could say his post was slightly fabricated.”

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