Friday 18 November 2016

Prince Philip urged to invest in a bloody DIY manual


Prince Philip, DIY, buckingham palace

Prince Philip could save the taxpayer a few quid if he learned how to pick up a paint brush like the rest of us, it has emerged this afternoon.

With a renovations bill running at £369m, keen DIYer Simon Williams reckons he could do the job for about two-grand.

He explained, “I’m not being funny, but get yourself down to B&Q and pick a few bits, check out a few Youtube tutorials and Bob’s yer uncle. Or Stavros or whatever Phil’s uncle is called.

“Sure, there’s a learning curve, but £369m for some new plug sockets and a lick of paint? Someone is seriously taking the piss.

“Set aside a couple of hours after work each night, and one day every weekend with a couple of ‘painting parties’ for friends and relatives and I bet he’d have it all done by spring. Trust me, I know how this works.

“Of course, his missus will then complain he’s done a bodge job when he has to fill all the holes he’s accidentally made, but that’s a right of passage all men must endure.”

When asked about the possibility of undertaking some DIY around the place, Prince Philip said, “That sounds utterly ghastly, I think I’d rather get an Indian in to do it.”

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