Thursday 17 November 2016 by Neil Tollfree

Trump to conduct all international diplomacy through Twitter


Donald Trump on Twitter

As the nature of a Donald Trump presidency becomes clearer, details have emerged that he plans to conduct all international diplomacy using Twitter.

“The Donald is an active Twitter user,” said whichever of his transition team hasn’t been sacked today.

“There are millions and millions of people who follow him. You’d imagine that the majority of international leaders would be in that number. So it’s the perfect medium for international diplomacy.”

It is understood that Mr Trump’s preference for brief informal discussion has led him to select Twitter as his communication preference.

“’Hey UK, let’s bomb wherever,’ ‘Hey Mexico, you suck,’ ‘Hey France, bring me a croissant.’ If you can’t say it in 140 characters or less, then the Donald’s going to get bored,” continued the spokesperson.

“And if it’s in one of those fruity European languages like German or British, then he can just run it through Google Translate.”

Even secret discussions will take place on the microblogging site.

“What, whose coffee we want the CIA to poison? Sure, The Donald will briefly follow back who it is he needs to talk to and they can DM.”

Mr Trump introduced himself to the diplomatic community earlier today with the tweet –

‘Donald J Trump sends greetings to all you foreigners #AmericaGreatAgain #HillarySux’

Rumours that Donald Trump’s first State of the Nation address will just be a tweet are yet to be confirmed.

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