Thursday 17 November 2016 by Lucas Wilde

Last shred of 2016’s potential finally withers and dies


2016 shit

The last flickering light of hope for 2016 has gone out.

Following the death of several beloved celebrities, the birth of Brexit and whatever-in-hell is happening with Toblerones, it was largely thought that 2016 might turn around with a vaguely sane Presidential election result.

“Guess again, fucko!” guffawed Trump voter, Simon Williams.

“We always knew 2016 was a loser, and Trump is a winner. So we’ve gone and finally stomped the last trace of hope out of the whole damn thing.

“It’s an amazing achievement for all of us and a wonderful day for darkness.”

Optimist, Jay Cooper, said, “the glass is no longer half full.

“In fact, I’ve drunk the remaining contents of the glass and thrown the fucker against my wall calendar.

“I had one last ounce of hope in 2016 with the US election. I dreamed a dream, and now that dream has been taken from me.

“People keep saying Christmas will make everything better but it won’t. Christmas has never improved anything. Ever.

“Fuck 2016 and let death come.”

2016 Survivor – get the t-shirt!

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