Wednesday 16 November 2016 by Neil Tollfree

Festive ice rink appears overnight in family’s front room


Festive Ice rink

An Essex family were stunned when they woke this morning to find their front room had been converted into a festive ice rink complete with a bar selling various ‘mulled’ liquids, underpaid Polish girls in Santa hats, and a Now Christmas CD that skips on Cliff Richard.

“Well, it’s a bit of a bloody liberty, to be honest,” said Simon Williams, a father of two from Chelmsford.

“I mean you wake up in the morning and without a bye-or-leave someone’s put a festive ice rink in your front room, how would you feel?”

Mrs Williams was equally annoyed.

“It’s not even frozen properly, so it’s essentially a big puddle and you just know that water’s going to make a right state of our carpet.”

The inexplicable popularity of festive ice rinks throughout the country sees thousands of them erected every November in parks, museums, churches, emergency wards, funeral homes, catteries, railway platforms, and even on one less than successful occasion, in a sewage treatment plant.

It is estimated that in Great Britain between November and December, any five-minute drive will take you past at least thirty different festive ice rinks.

It is understood that despite the intrusion, Mr Williams has no plans to protest.

“No, I mean, it’s a pain, but we’ve already got a plan in place with the Polish girls to overcharge for hot-chocolate and split the profits.

“Mainly though, I’m just worried that if we do leave the house to complain, the buggers’ll just set up another festive ice rink in the kitchen.”

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