Friday 11 November 2016 by Neil Tollfree

Court finds that Dad WAS just resting his eyes


Man asleep in front of the TV

A landmark court case has ruled that Dad wasn’t sleeping but was, as he claimed, just resting his eyes.

The case was brought jointly by both son and daughter against Dad after he refused to switch over to X-Factor because he was watching a Dad’s Army repeat.

“It’s a fascinating case,” said expert in family law Simon Williams.

“Both son and daughter claimed that he was asleep. So the case hinged on Dad’s assertion that he wasn’t asleep but watching Dad’s Army, and was actually just resting his eyes.”

A key witness in the case would have been Mum, but she rescinded herself on the grounds that she ‘didn’t want to get involved and they should sort it out amongst themselves.’

“Ultimately, Dad scored a quite brilliant coup by citing precedent from the little known 1984 Doctor Who ruling, and the court ruled in his favour.”

Dad made a brief statement to the press.

“It’s a victory for Dads everywhere who paid for the bloody telly, and if they want to rest their bloody eyes in front of it, then they should bloody well be allowed to do so without having to suffer Simon bloody Cowell.”

It is understood that while the daughter has accepted the ruling, the son intends to appeal to the High Court just as soon as they’ve finished with ‘some Brexit thing.’

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