Wednesday 9 November 2016 by Spacey

Donald Trump could regain access to Twitter account on completion of successful trial with nuclear codes


Donald Trump

Donald Trump, who had his Twitter access revoked by his campaign managers, has successfully secured access to America’s nuclear codes.

Trump was denied control of his Twitter account in the build-up to the presidential election due to a series of monumentally stupid tweets.

According to a senior aide, the new president will only regain full control of his Twitter account once he’s proved that he can act responsibly.

“We’ll give him the nuclear codes, and if he can get through a week without triggering armageddon then we’ll review his Twitter access,” confirmed the senior aide.

“It’s one thing to bring on the apocalypse, but we can’t risk him reacting to criticism with an ill-judged tweet.”

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