Monday 7 November 2016 by Neil Tollfree

Theresa May seeks trading agreement with island of the crabs from Planet Earth II


Christmas Island crabs

Prime Minister Theresa May has announced that Great Britain would be seeking a trading agreement with an island populated solely by crabs as featured in BBC’s Planet Earth II.

“After Brexit, it will be important for Great Britain to establish trade links with the great powers around the globe,” said Mrs May yesterday.

“While I was waiting for the great powers around the globe to return my calls, I watched an episode of Planet Earth II, saw the island of the crabs and thought ‘hey, I can do business with 50 million crabs’.

“We understand that the islanders are having problems with giant crazy ants spraying acid in everyone’s eyes and mouth. Well, we’ve been having problems with High Court Judges, and whilst the High court Judges don’t spray acid in your eyes and mouth, they’re certainly a pain.

“So, I think there’s some common ground there.”

It is understood that should the prime minister be unable to secure such a deal with the island of the crabs, she will look to begin talks with the island of the penguins instead.

“Yes, but we’d have to be careful with negotiations,” continued Mrs May.

“I mean, we’d be sending Boris Johnson, and I wouldn’t want him to get taken advantage of.”

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