Friday 4 November 2016 by Davywavy

NewsThump declared an Enemy of the People


NewsThump declared enemy of the people

Treasonous lickspittle “comedy” website NewsThump has been declared an Enemy of the People today after expressing a general preference for the supremacy of Parliament.

The site, which was run by a cabal of international financiers, homosexuals and fencers from a light industrial estate just outside Kettering, treacherously suggested that a system of checks and balances within a Democracy was a pretty good idea and were immediately denounced by popular tribunes for their sedition.

Contributors to the site have been accused of supporting foreign interests, including buying expensive continental lagers in preference to Carling.

Managing Editor, Simon Williams, has been taken into custody and will be tried and hanged – because it’s important to have a trial even when the outcome isn’t in doubt.

A new editor has been democratically elected and will only run popular comedy stories, including the hilarious ‘Purge Parliament of Perfidy!’, “Buy British-made jams to further strengthen our economic progress!”,  and “Let us thoroughly implement our Party’s policy of putting all the people under arms and turning the whole country into a fortress!”, which Kim Jong-Un has given his generous permission to use.

Speaking to reporters from loyal publications, a spokesman for The People explained that ‘The so-called law’ was merely ‘advisory’ and should be set aside at times when more important considerations over-ruled it.

“Yes, yes, Britain has a ‘constitution’ and ‘laws’ and ‘checks and balances’, but these are outdated, petty ideas from a less civilised time; a barbaric holdover from the past,” he explained.

“From now on we’ll just hold a vote on everything people want. There’s going to be one on Tuesday about everyone getting a pony.

“And if I’ve not got my free pony by Friday, heads will roll, let me tell you.”

I think, therefore I am (not a Daily Mail reader)

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