Thursday 3 November 2016 by Neil Tollfree

Man not wearing a poppy is damn well going to let everyone know about it


Man not wearing a poppy

A man who has made the decision to not wear a poppy this year is making sure that everyone knows about it.

Simon Williams posted on Facebook early this morning – ‘Please note, I will NOT be wearing a poppy this year because I do not condone war’.

When this post was ignored by both his Facebook friends, Mr Williams took to the street.

“Yeah, it was weird,” said one man.

“This bloke in a long coat with shocking breath came up and shouted at me and the kids that, what was it, oh yeah – poppies equal war.

“I mean Daisy, my four-year-old, began to explain to him that wearing a poppy is simply a non-partisan, reasonably discreet method of showing respect for people who’ve died in battle, but he didn’t seem interested in nuanced argument, just about having a bit of a shout.”

Williams paused to fashion a paper badge from a post-it note that read simply – ‘No Poppy Actually,’ and after affixing it to his collar, made his way to ASDA.

It was in the foyer of the Superstore that police were forced to take action against him, and he was escorted from the premises after shouting ‘you’re no better than Tony Blair’ into the face of 89-year-old Eleanor Gay, a poppy seller.

“I don’t mind if people don’t want to wear a poppy, after all, it’s all about freedom of choice,” said Mrs Gay.

“But I do wish they wouldn’t go on about it so.”

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