Wednesday 2 November 2016 by Lucas Wilde

Donald Trump attempts to grab Bono by the pussy


Bono grabbed by the pussy

Donald Trump has congratulated U2’s Bono on being named Glamour’s “Woman of the Year” in the only way he knows how.

The steaming mess of a Presidential candidate approached the whinging little bastard of rock and grabbed him firmly by his assumed vagina.

“I heard about your award, I think it’s great,” said Trump, menacingly, shaking the rock star back and forth by his genitals.

“I never knew you were a woman. I’d heard you were Irish or something. I think it’s great. Just great.”

A visibly shaken Bono said, “that hurt quite a lot.

“I mean he held on for a good few seconds. Long enough to establish that there’s actually a cock and balls down there.

“Is this what being a woman in Western society actually means? It seems horrible. Why aren’t more people upset about it?

“I’d like to give back my award, I think. I don’t want to be a woman anymore.”

A spokesperson for Mr. Trump said, “Donald was just having a bit of locker room fun, or ‘sexual assault’ as you liberal elitist hippies insist on calling it.”

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