Tuesday 1 November 2016 by Alex Webster

Generic zombie costume fails to impress


Generic Zombie Halloween costume

A man attending a Hallowe’en party failed to make an impact with his lame costume.

Partygoer Simon Williams explained the complex process of his physical transformation from a claims adjuster to an undead horror.

“Well, my inspiration was a film I saw. I thought, ‘Why not just do that?’. I took an old shirt I had and cut some holes in it with the kitchen scissors. Then I applied some fake blood I had left over from last year.

“Trousers and footwear were not featured prominently in the film I saw, so I just wore my jeans and trainers and rubbed a bit of fake blood on them – and Bob’s your uncle, I was transformed from my workaday self to a slightly scruffier, pastier version of my workaday self.

“I was shocked by the lukewarm response from the other guests. Luckily I salvaged the situation with my knowledge of Hallowe’en facts, and by correcting all the punctuation on the decorations.”

Conversely, Mr William’s partner Emma had spent the last nine months hand stitching an exact replica of Nanny Ogg’s outfit from the Discworld novels, including authentic, book-specific detailing and a genuine beezum.

She explained, “We were walking to the venue when a bloke standing outside a pub smoking pointed at me and shouted ‘Wizard of Oz!’.

“That’s when I broke down.”

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: