Tuesday 18 October 2016 by Pete Redfern

Satan signed off with exhaustion


Satan signed off with exhaustion

The catastrophically disastrous nightmare that is 2016 took a surprising turn for the better today, amid reports that Satan has been signed off with stress and exhaustion.

Efforts to contact him for a statement have been unsuccessful, but a close source confirmed that it had been a busy year for the Prince of Darkness.

“Lucifer is not getting any younger, and this year has proved to be one of his most energy sapping” the source said.

“First he had to orchestrate Brexit against the odds, then he oversaw The Great British Bake Off move to Channel 4, and since then he has been working flat-out tempting Americans to vote for his favourite demon, Donald J Trump. It has just been too much for him.”

It is not known when the Devil will return to his evil machinations, but his source is confident that this is just a bump in the road.

“He was hoping to hold out to witness the Trump victory in November, and the subsequent nuclear apocalypse in December, but now it’s a bit up in the air.

“Hopefully he’ll be back on his cloven hooves before too long”.

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