Friday 14 October 2016

Universally loathed Government slips to double-digit poll lead


Theresa May government

The unpopular and divisive government who nobody voted for has slipped to a mere 14 point lead today, leading to fears they may only get a 150 seat majority in any snap General Election.

The government, who absolutely everyone would prefer to see replaced by the opposition, is languishing only slightly more than a dozen points ahead of their nearest competitor, which has led some observers to conclude that the jig is indeed up and they are now running scared of a charismatic and popular Shadow Cabinet.

Reports from Westminster suggest that senior figures within the Tory administration are having emergency meetings to discuss how to deal with what is plainly an existential threat, and party members are being warned that it may presage years in the political wilderness.

Supporters of opposition parties say the poll results show the growth of a popular groundswell of support for them, and pledged to keep doing exactly what they’re doing whilst preparing for Government.

“They say you can judge a person by the quality of their enemies, in which case I must be utterly hopeless,” said a visibly shaken Theresa May.

“Clearly I need to find a better quality of enemy to the ones I’ve got now. Someone who the voters will take to and trust more than the current lot.

“I wonder what Tony Blair and Nick Clegg are doing right now?”

When asked, former Prime Minister Tony Blair said ‘A majority of 150? How does anyone manage with one that small?’

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