Friday 14 October 2016 by Neil Tollfree

Republican Party considers replacing Trump with a killer clown


Trump to be replaced with killer clown

It is understood that top Republicans are trying to find a viable method of replacing Donald Trump as Presidential candidate with a ‘killer clown.’

“A lot of people are afraid of a Donald Trump presidency,” said a senior republican who wished to remain anonymous for fear of Trump repercussions.

“So, we want to find someone that Americans would find more comforting, like a middle-aged, overweight man in poorly applied clown make-up speaking in a scratchy voice and wielding a knife.

“I mean, it’s terrifying, but it’s clearly a more pleasing prospect than a sex-pest with creepy hands and mad hair.”

At the moment, the Republicans are trying to find a legal loophole that will allow them to make a switch.

“Surprisingly, the GOP’s never tried to change their candidate with a killer clown or, indeed, any kind of clown.

“Which was particularly surprising when you consider that in 1996 we went with Bob Dole.”

A hastily conducted poll seems to indicate that a killer clown could conceivably perform better in this election than either Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump.

But then, the same poll shows that both candidates would come a distant second and third to ‘any old shit’.

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