Thursday 13 October 2016 by Alex Webster

If Scotland gets another vote, we want one too, say Remainers


Remainers want new referendum

Remain voters have pointed out that Scotland is likely to get a second referendum, despite being told such a thing was quite impossible.

When leader of the SNP Nicola Sturgeon announced that consultation was due to begin on the second referendum for Scottish independence, Remainers were quick to point out that such a concept was specifically forbidden by the government and not even worth an Internet petition.

MP Simon Williams commented, “I’m a father of two, so I understand compromise.

“If you give one child something, you have to immediately give the other child something of exactly equal value. Otherwise there’ll be a big drama and everything that goes wrong in their adult lives will be blamed on the emotional scars.”

At that point, Mr Williams turned to the MPs squabbling in the seat behind him shouting, “Right, if you two can’t keep yours hands to yourselves there’ll be no referenda for anyone!”, which was met with shocked silence.

A UKIP MEP who is recovering in a hospital bed at the Belgian taxpayers expense said, “Holding another vote because you didn’t like the result is undemocratic.

“I also say that if people want to vote again just because they were lied to the first time, it calls into question our entire political system.”

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