Thursday 13 October 2016 by Oxbridge

Brexiters finally on verge of ‘getting it’ after losing their beloved Pot Noodles


Pot Noodle

Borderline simpletons who voted to leave the EU are beginning to have second thoughts after failing to find Pot Noodles on the shelves at their local Tesco, it has emerged.

“I voted to Leave because I thought we would get £350 million a week each to spend on the NHS,” said Simon Williams, a 45-year-old waste of carbon from Peterborough who likes Pot Noodles.

“And because I don’t like anyone telling me what shape of banana I can buy.

“All right, and because I don’t particularly like the darkies. But no-one told me this might affect Pot Noodles, and so I want another referendum RIGHT NOW.”

Professor James Kennedy, an international trade expert from Bristol University who knows what he’s talking about – or a patronising so-called expert from the liberal elite, depending on which way you look at it, tried explaining the situation.

He told Pot Noodle fan Williams, “Tesco are at loggerheads with one of their key suppliers, Unilever, who claim that the fall in the value of the pound, which may be linked to uncertainty over Brexit, has damaged their margins and this forces them to…”

“Sorry, I lost you at ‘loggerheads’, didn’t I? Run along and play with your toys, there’s a good boy.”

BBC News added, “There is no need to panic as the dispute is specific to Tesco and you can still buy Pot Noodles elsewhere. Oh, sorry, other nutrition-free chemically-synthesised powders are available.”

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