Monday 10 October 2016 by Spacey

Killer clown craze prompts calls for police to be armed with buckets of confetti


killer clown police confetti

An increase in sightings of ‘killer clowns’ has led to calls for the police to be armed with buckets filled with confetti.

The craze, which is sweeping the UK after gaining notoriety in America, has been widely criticised for wasting police time and resources.

“Some of these incidents have caused real distress,” said a police spokesman.

“We have received numerous reports of implausibly large numbers of clowns emerging from tiny cars.

“In one such incident, the clowns attempted to flee the scene, but only got a few metres before the car gave off a loud bang and the wheels and doors fell off.”

Members of the public have warned that unless the government act they will be forced to take the law into their own hands.

“I won’t leave the house without a squirting flower and a custard pie,” revealed non-clown Simon Williams.

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