Monday 10 October 2016 by Lucas Wilde

Everyone looking back on George W Bush with fondness


George W Bush

Everyone is starting to legitimately miss the heady days of the George W. Bush administration.

Despite being a suspected war criminal and probable mastermind behind 9/11, Bush is now being looked back upon with the kind of fondness usually reserved for dearly departed grandfathers; thanks to the comparative awfulness of whoever will be the next President.

“His kindly eyes, his crinkled smile, his inability to work a door properly…I miss him so much,” sighed a wistful Chuck Williams, an American citizen.

“He may have constantly embarrassed the USA on a global scale but he at least had a vague idea of how to be a human, and didn’t suggest one of his own daughters was tasty.

“And of course emails were never an issue for him because he couldn’t work a computer, the lovable buffoon.”

A Twitter campaign has already begun to bring President Bush back to the White House, with #wewantbush trending worldwide.

“Mysteriously, it’s doing very well amongst pornography enthusiasts,” mused social media, Jay Cooper.

“But then Bush was always popular amongst wankers, so it makes sense.”

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