Tuesday 4 October 2016 by Dan Sweryt

Tyson Fury quits boxing to concentrate on misogyny and homophobia


Tyson fury to quite boxing

Tyson Fury has sensationally announced his retirement from boxing to concentrate full-time on misogyny and homophobia.

He has announced that he is already in training to compete in the events at the Olympic Games in Tokyo 2020.

Fury will compete primarily in the Politically Incorrectathlon, encapsulating the main disciplines of anti-semitism, racism (casual and professional), general anti-LBGT events as well as misogyny and vertically-challenged-persons-throwing, plus all the corresponding individual events.

Fury himself said, “This is what I have dreamed about for a long time.

“For too long, because of the boxing, I’ve been unable to do what I do best on the world stage, but now I get to batter all kinds of people at the Olympics Games, just as they deserve! Women – who all deserve it, gayboys, benders, bummers, Jews, the coloureds, people who dress up for fancy dress parties, members of 1-Direction, the Paw Patrol. Everyone really; I’m not fussy.

Reacting to comments that he is a massive penis, Fury took it as a compliment and said that he hoped to use the massive penis for purposes that are too crude to publish.

When asked for comment, the entire Labour party confirmed that they have all entered since hearing the news, with Ken Livingstone the bookies’ favourite for several individual events.

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