Friday 30 September 2016 by Neil Tollfree

Male sex in disarray after man hears woman fart


Man shocked by woman who farted

The entire male sex has been left reeling after a man heard a woman fart.

“I’m still in a state of shock,” said Simon Williams, a prophylactic stretcher from Lyme Regis.

“I was on the train. To be honest, I thought it was an empty carriage, so I was about to take my trousers off and relax in my pants.

“But then there was this prolonged, catastrophic bout of flatulence, so I looked up expecting to see some sort of manly man who I could high-five and giggle with but the only other person in the carriage was a small, pleasant-looking woman.

“Frankly, she looked as shocked as me, but before either of us could say anything, a powerful, visceral stench began to emanate through the carriage and we were forced to flee.”

The shockwaves from the fart have been felt the world over, with men stunned that female bottoms work the same as those of males.

“I just didn’t know they did that,” said one man.

“To be honest, I’m kind of impressed.”

However, there were tragic consequences for one man who thought that this woman’s fart had brought about a ‘flatulente-détente,’ and consequently broke wind in front of his girlfriend during dinner.

He is currently receiving medical treatment but is expected to make a full recovery.

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