Thursday 29 September 2016

Danny Willett’s brother offered role in post-Brexit US trade negotiation team


Danny Willett, PJ Willett

The government has approached the brother of Ryder Cup team member Danny Willett to see if he is willing to help the country negotiate a trade deal with the United States.

PJ Willett has shown the sort of pro-British gumption expected from the negotiation team, and his efforts have not gone unnoticed by those in Whitehall.

Brexit minister David Davis explained, “We are desperately short of professional negotiators, so we’re on the lookout for enthusiastic amateurs who are capable of getting the upper hand over our American cousins when it comes time to negotiate our new trade arrangement.

“Of course, mind games will almost certainly come into play, so PJ’s special brand of diplomacy will be a powerful weapon in our armoury.

“What sort of position will the Americans be able to take when they’ve been called a ‘baying mob of imbeciles’? A weak one, that’s what.”

Former trade negotiator Simon Williams said the appointment of PJ Willett might even be considered a master stroke.

He explained, “It will put them on the backfoot, certainly, which is a good thing. The only way this is ever going cause an issue is if the American’s can’t take a joke.

“Oh.”

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