Thursday 29 September 2016 by Neil Tollfree

American union of henchmen, sidekicks, and stooges to endorse Donald Trump


Donald Trump endorsement

The Trump campaign received a boost yesterday as it was announced that the American Union of henchmen, sidekicks, and stooges would be throwing their weight behind the Republican candidate.

“You know, this guy, this Trump guy, he’s alright,” said union representative Simon ‘knuckles’ Williams.

“A lot of our guys have had associations with him. You know, I can’t say too much, but Trump, he’s given each of us a lot of work in in his time and he’s always been a stand-up guy.”

Mr Williams went on to describe what, in his opinion, makes Mr Trump worthy of the UHSS’ support.

“Well, Trump, he’s a good guy, you know? He’s never had anyone whacked, not unless they really deserved it.

“He’s stood up for us against these crazy people who think we should be henchpeople, not henchmen. I mean, whatever, right?

“Best thing about Trump though? The guy’s really rich, and he’s not afraid to look after the guys that are loyal to him, you know what I’m saying?”

Mr Trump declared himself thrilled with the UHSS’ support.

“It’s great to have these guys on board,” he said, whilst inexplicably sniffing more than is necessary.

“Do we love the henchmen of America, I mean, do we? Oh yeah, yeah we do.”

The UHSS become the fourth major organisation to support Trump after the American Association of Thugs and hardasses, the KKK, and the legion of SuperVillains.

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