Wednesday 28 September 2016 by Danny Soz

FIFA puts Sam Allardyce on shortlist for executive role


Sam Allardyce on FIFA's radar

Disgraced ex-England soccer boss, Sam Allardyce, has been targeted by the sport’s international governing body, FIFA, who are keen to harness Big Sam’s natural aptitude for greed and duplicity.

One FIFA insider even tips Allardyce for the top job in due course should he continue to show promise in the murky dealings arena.

“Allardyce could be just the man we’re looking ever since we lost Sepp Blatter,” he told us.

“By getting his sticky fingers caught in the cookie jar, Sam has exhibited a degree of abject greed and appallingly bad judgement that surely singles him out as prime FIFA executive material.

“He’s a natural. I’ve been a FIFA employee for 25 years, and I can’t remember an international football high-flyer taking to corruption so quickly – well, not since Jack Warner took his first illicit backhander back in the 80s.

“He’s definitely presidential material in my book, and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if we don’t see his office being turned over by the FBI and his home raided by Swiss police at some point in the very near future.”

Allardyce was unavailable for comment last night, but his agent told us that Sam would definitely be interested in a FIFA role, and invited any representatives of the body to meet him in a garage service station on the M25 with “a little sweetener in a large brown envelope”.

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