Tuesday 27 September 2016 by Neil Tollfree

Theresa May denies accusations of compassion


Theresa May compassion

Sources close to Theresa May have hit back at claims she was branded ‘compassionate’ by former PM David Cameron over proposed EU immigration controls.

A new book claimed the then home secretary failed to support plans to give EU immigrants coming into Britain Chinese burns, kick them in the shins and then steal all their lunch money.

The sources close to Mrs May intend now to release private correspondence between her and Mr Cameron that will prove categorically that she is not in the least bit compassionate.

They will do so because in the current climate it is ‘politically important to rebut any and all suggestions of compassion, kindness, or just being nice’.

“’Compassionate May’ are not words Downing Street wants to see in headlines in a national newspaper. Not ever,” said a Number 10 insider.

“The people of this country have shown that more than anything else, they want a cold-hearted bastard in charge who is fully prepared to puncture the lilo of a Sudanese family as they cross the English Channel just because they want to live somewhere where people don’t shoot at them.”

It is expected that Theresa May will appear on the Andrew Marr show this coming Sunday in order to stamp on the head of an immigrant child’s puppy to prove once and for all that she is as lacking in compassion as any Tory Prime Minister.

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