Saturday 24 September 2016 by Neil Tollfree

Owen Smith declared an unperson


Owen Smith unperson

Following the Party’s re-establishment of Jeremy Corbyn as their leader, challenger Owen Smith has been declared an unperson.

Sources from with the Party refuse to confirm whether Mr Smith has been referred to the Ministry of Love for ‘re-education’.

Simon Williams, a loyal party member who smelt fiercely of boiled cabbage expressed his relief at the fate of Mr Smith.

“I love the leader,” he said, sweating profusely.

“So I think it’s double-plus good news that this Smith chap is has been declared an unperson. I mean, you can’t just lead a revolt against Big Bro…Jeremy Corbyn and expect to get away with it.”

“Frankly, I think that torture with rats at the hands of the thought police in Miniluv is too good for him.”

A panicked look suddenly appeared in Mr Williams eyes.

“Hang on, he’s already been declared an unperson?

“Forget everything I said, I meant ‘Owen Smith? Who’s he’?

“Can I just re-iterate how much I love Jeremy Corbyn, and support the Party in all its endeavours.”

After re-emerging his suspected re-education, it is expected that Mr Smith will declare his love for Jeremy Corbyn and then spend the rest of his days in the Chestnut Tree cafe.

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