Sunday 18 September 2016 by Neil Tollfree

Trump unsure whether to link New York explosion to Muslims, Mexico, or Obama


Trump New York bomb

Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump has reacted quickly to the explosion in New York City claiming that the perpetrators were either Muslims, Mexicans, or sitting President Barack Obama.

“We don’t know anything,” said Mr Trump, unintentionally summing up his entire campaign.

“But when anything like this happens, you can bet that it’s going to be either Muslims, Mexicans or Obama.

“We’re just trying to figure out which of the three my campaign can best exploit to whip up more fear and hatred amongst my supporters.”

It is expected that Mr Trump’s campaign will come to a decision within the next few hours and call for a religious purge, a magic wall, or proof that Barack Obama himself wasn’t in the Chelsea district of New York City on Saturday evening.

Mr Trump has made it clear that he has no interest in the facts of the case, and will not be liaising with police in anyway.

“Facts? Hell no,” said the elven-handed lunatic.

“What do we care for facts here? Let me be clear, whatever the facts or the truth of this, whatever the evidence proves, the only thing that matters here is whatever insinuation I can make against Muslims, Mexicans, or Obama in order to boost my popularity.”

His final words gave an indication that he might be looking for a more original way to exploit the situation.

“Perhaps it was all three?”

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