Sunday 18 September 2016 by Gary Stanton

Local arthouse cinema grudgingly shows Bridget Jones film because it needs the money


Bridget Jones

Liverpool’s trendy FACT cinema will grudgingly screen the new Bridget Jones film as long as it’s in Catalan, it has emerged.

The cinema, which is located in a quiet back street, caters exclusively for middle-class punters happy to pay twenty-fucking-quid to see Renée Zellweger with a slightly bigger arse.

Arthouse cinema fan, Diedre Matthews, said, “The rich Catalan dialect lends itself exquisitely to the comedic situation in which a self-confident young woman gets knocked up by two different blokes and doesn’t know who the father is.

“Colin Firth looks absolutely lush in it.”

FACT cinema manager, Simon Williams, said “Be sure to check out the pleasant well-lit bar area on the first floor, where you can spout forth your opinions just loud enough for the neighbouring table to hear them.

“Of course, if you’d prefer to watch the film in a hen night ambience with a load of monolingual plebs, there’s an Odeon just around the corner.”

He added, “For younger audiences, we also have the Willy Wonka film in Serbo-Croat.”

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