Friday 16 September 2016 by Neil Tollfree

Exciting new MP Figel Narage named UKIP leader


Nigel Farage UKIP leader

In a surprise development in the race for UKIP leadership, late entrant Figel Narage has been named leader.

“It is a huge privilege to be named leader of UKIP,” said Mr Narage.

“And take over from the magnificent Nigel Farage, who I definitely am not.”

Mr Narage entered the race for the leadership at a very late date after realising that all the other candidates were ‘shit’.

“It would have been impossible for me to watch this party, which had been led to such staggering heights by the glorious, talented and handsome Nigel Farage, collapse under the mismanagement of someone who isn’t Mr Farage.

“Not that I’m Mr Farage of course. Oh No.”

Little is known of Mr Narage’s life over the past ten years, but it is understood that prior to that he was just your average bloke – a stunningly wealthy ex-stockbroker who enjoyed the expenses-laden lifestyle of an MEP.

“I don’t think that the last ten years of my life are of interest to anyone, as long as we all understand I’m definitely not Nigel Farage who is simply incapable of being out of the spotlight for more than a day or so.”

Mr Narage intends to continue business as usual for UKIP.

“Yes, that means more lying without consequence and fuelling bigotry and hatred across the country.”

It is understood that Mr Narage intends to continue on as leader for as long as he is eligible for EU expenses.

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